82 funny riddles with answers

It was framed.

"Framed" means put in a frame, and also made to look guilty of a crime.

It's always up to something.

"Up to something" means planning mischief, and a staircase really does lead up to something.

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

A "clean getaway" is an escape without being caught. The bath makes it clean for real.

He wanted cold, hard cash.

"Cold, hard cash" means real money in your hand. The freezer makes it cold and hard for real.

A chew-chew train.

"Chew-chew" sounds like "choo-choo," the sound a train makes.

A can't opener.

Change "can" to "can't" and the name says it will not open anything.

Address.

"Address" sounds like "a dress," and every house has an address.

Sneakers.

Ninjas sneak around, and sneakers are soft sports shoes.

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

"I've got you covered" means "I'll look after you," and a carpet really does cover the floor.

You're putting me on!

"Putting me on" means joking with me, and you really do put a sock on your foot.

You hang around. I'll go on ahead.

A scarf hangs around your neck, and a hat goes on your head: "on ahead" sounds like "on a head."

It lost its contacts.

Contacts are the people saved in a phone, and also lenses that some people wear instead of glasses.

They took a shortcut.

A shortcut is a quicker way to go, and scissors make short cuts.

She wanted to work overtime.

Overtime means extra working hours, and her desk, where she works, sits over the clock.

You look a bit flushed.

Looking "flushed" means looking red in the face, and toilets flush.

Leaf me alone.

"Leaf" sounds like "leave."

Hill-arious.

"Hill-arious" sounds like "hilarious," and a hill is a small mountain.

Long time, no sea.

"Long time, no see" is what you say to someone you missed, and the sea had been away.

It was feeling under the weather.

"Under the weather" means a little sick, and a cloud is part of the weather.

Thunderwear.

"Thunderwear" sounds like "underwear," and clouds bring thunder.

It needed a root canal.

A root canal is a dental treatment, and trees have roots.

I lava you.

"Lava" sounds like "love," and volcanoes pour out lava.

You planet.

"Planet" sounds like "plan it."

A drizzly bear.

"Drizzly" (light rain) sounds like "grizzly."

A bulldozer.

A dozing bull is a "bull dozer," and a bulldozer is also a big digging machine.

It was always spotted.

Leopards are covered in spots, and "spotted" also means seen.

The scales.

Fish are covered in scales, and scales are also what you weigh things on.

Their horns don't work.

Cows have horns on their heads, but not the kind you honk.

Hoo-dini.

Owls say "hoo," and Houdini was a famous magician and escape artist.

They're scared of the mouse.

The old story says elephants fear mice, and a computer has a mouse.

A boa constructor.

A boa constrictor is a big snake, and a constructor is a builder.

With honeycombs.

A honeycomb is the wax home where bees keep honey, and a comb brushes hair.

An orca-stra.

"Orca-stra" sounds like "orchestra," and an orca is a kind of whale.

They're really good at it.

The joke takes the question at its word: if you never see them, they must be hiding well.

They never learned to cook.

The real reason is that wild animals don't cook; the joke pretends it's a missing skill.

An astro-nut.

"Astro-nut" sounds like "astronaut."

A blueberry.

"Blue" also means sad.

Slippers.

Slippers are soft house shoes, and banana peels are famously slippery.

Cookies.

Cookies ends with a sound like "keys," but you eat them instead of opening doors with them.

Patty.

Patty is a girl's name, and a patty is the round piece of meat in a burger.

Where's Pop-corn?

"Pop" is a name for a dad, and popcorn is corn that pops.

Lemon aid.

"Lemon aid" sounds like "lemonade," and aid means help.

To tie the score.

A tie is an equal score, and you also tie string in a knot.

All the fans left.

Fans are the people who cheer, and fans are also machines that cool the air.

Everyone was making a racket.

A racket is a loud noise, and it is also the bat you hit a tennis ball with.

They both need a good batter.

A batter is the player who hits, and batter is also the mix pancakes are made from.

A ball hog.

A ball hog is a player who never passes, and a hog is a pig.

They catch lots of flies.

In baseball a fly is a ball hit high in the air, and frogs catch flies to eat.

A hole.

Cutting a hole takes away part of the bucket, and whatever is inside leaks out.

There is no smoke.

Electric trains don't burn fuel, so they make no smoke. The wind is there to distract you.

One. After that, your stomach isn't empty.

Only the first egg goes into an empty stomach.

Very big hands.

You expect to add them up to seven, but holding that many oranges takes huge hands.

Open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

You expect a clever trick, but the answer is just the three plain steps.

By moving from one spot to another.

The saying claims a leopard can't change its spots, but "spot" also means a place.

Fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Folding a bill makes it double, but only in thickness.

Bob.

To "bob" means to float up and down in water.

Matt.

Matt sounds like mat, the doormat people wipe their feet on.

Annette.

Annette sounds like "a net," which hangs between the goalposts.

Russell.

Russell sounds like "rustle," the sound dry leaves make.

Cliff.

Seagulls like to perch on cliffs.

Ivy.

Ivy is a plant that climbs up walls.

Bill.

A bill is a note that says how much money someone owes.

Shelly.

Shelly sounds like "shell-y," and a turtle carries a shell.

Warren.

A warren is the group of tunnels where rabbits live.

A satisfactory.

Satisfactory means acceptable, and the word ends in "factory."

They work on so many levels.

A joke that "works on many levels" is clever in more than one way, and elevators travel between levels.

He couldn't see himself doing it.

If you "can't see yourself" doing a job, you can't imagine it. An invisible man can't see himself at all.

He was outstanding in his field.

"Outstanding in his field" means excellent at his work, and a scarecrow stands out in a field.

It got mugged.

To be mugged is to be robbed, and coffee is served in a mug.

A barberqueue.

A queue is a line. Barber plus queue sounds like "barbecue."

Pointless.

It has no sharp point to write with, and "pointless" also means useless.

Every play has a cast.

A cast is the group of actors in a play, and also the hard wrap put on a broken leg.

Anna One and Anna Two.

Musicians count a band in with "a-one, a-two."

Eclipse it.

"Eclipse it" sounds like "he clips it," and a solar eclipse is when the moon blocks the sun.

A book about anti-gravity.

A book you "can't put down" is too good to stop reading. Anti-gravity would keep it floating up.

If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Over the bay they would be "bay gulls," which sounds like "bagels."

Bison.

"Bison" sounds like "bye, son."

He made a lot of dough.

Dough is what bread is made from, and "dough" is also slang for money.

They lactose.

"Lactose" (the sugar in milk) sounds like "lack toes."

Sofishticated.

"Sofishticated" sounds like "sophisticated," which is how a bow tie looks.

Lawsuits.

A lawsuit is a court case, and a suit is also what people wear to look formal.

Live stream.

A live stream is a video shown as it happens, and fish live in a stream.