What to Say ‘No’ To?

…inspired by Mike’s best-selling book, “The Yes/No Book: How to do less… an Achieve More”.

Before you can say yes or no effectively, you have to know what to say yes or no to. So I want to introduce you to the distinction between goal directed activities on the one hand, and guilt directed activities. goal directed and guilt directed activities help you to understand when to say no, and what things to say no to. Let’s start with goal directed activities, goal directed activities take you towards the things you want in life. Consequently, these are the activities to say a strong, powerful committed yes to guilty directed activities on the other hand are those activities that driven by a feeling of obligation, a feeling that he ought to do them. These are the shoulds in your life. They give you no pleasure. All they do is make you feel guilty when you don’t do them. That guilt has no value to you, except upsetting you, or making you feel stressed. Yet, if they were gold ribbon activity, you’d embrace them fully. And of course, if they were an absolute necessity, you just get them done. But they’re not that guilt driven activities. These are things to say no to all work and no play makes jack or Jane, a very dull person. So in addition to goal directed, and guilt directed activities, you making your decision whether to say yes or no. You also need to consider desire directed activities. Because a life without happiness, without pleasure is not worth living. There are two types of happiness. First, there’s the joyful excitement, the pleasures of doing something wonderful. And second, plus the pure pleasure of just living a happy life, a fulfilled life. And both of these are important to us. Both of them are necessary if you’re to live a life that you consider worthwhile. And so in your decision to say yes or no, you must always look at the opportunities for pleasure and take some of those desire directed activities and really enjoy them and say yes. Finally, how long How do you avoid responsibility? How often do you set the important things aside? Just fiddle around with unimportant things. We all do this and we do it a lot. And these are what are known as displacement directed activities, because they displace other more important goals or even sometimes desire directed activities that you should really be saying yes to. Often. These are make work tasks, or better yet, they’re often just will gathering just daydreaming, just flicking through magazines that you’ve got no real interest in. It’s purposeless procrastination. It’s putting off other more important things. Because at the moment, you’re just feeling a little too lazy. So it’s vital that you learn to say no To displacement directed activities. So what we’ve seen are four types of activities, goal directed activities, which take you towards the most important things in your life. They help you to achieve what you really want. And then there are guilt directed activities, where you feel a sense of should or ought, some sense of obligation which you can’t pin down. These are activities to say no to because they bring you know fulfillment and they bring you no benefit. There are desire directed activities, which help you have a happy and fulfilled life. But don’t confuse them with displacement directed activities that displace other worthwhile tasks. You wiling away at the time, you feel like you’re having fun, but there is no genuine joy or passion or Happiness to be had. Say yes to goal and desire directed activities. Say no to guilt directed activities and say no to displacement directed activities.