Tools for Making a Positive Difference III

Hello, welcome to lesson four, the final lesson in this course. And in lesson three we got as far as the O and the S of the closer framework. And now we’re going to finish off with the E and the R. The E refers to effective conflict management, it would be very naive to think that we could get through life without conflict. disagreements and conflicting views are inevitable, of course. But problems with conflict are not inevitable. Even if conflict itself is it doesn’t have to be the case that conflict causes problems. It all depends on how the situation is managed. Some of the things I’ve already mentioned will be useful for this not least good communication skills and sensitivity and empathy. One of the important things to recognize is that in the right circumstances, conflict can actually be positive and productive. For example, where two people have gone through a conflict with one another and come out the other end, as it were, without any major difficulties, the chances are, they will have a great deal of respect for one another, that that will help to cement a relationship of trust. So being able to get through conflict positively, is not only to avoid problems and difficulties, but actually a positive influencing skill skill in its own right. If people trust you to be able to manage conflicts, constructively not get bogged down in them, not make them worse not create additional problems in terms of conflict, then you’ll win a lot of trust, you’ll win a lot of credibility, you’ll have a lot of that objective confidence that we talked about. A big part of conflict, though, is recognizing the early signs of it, and nipping it in the bud whenever you can. What a lot of people do though, is they try to ignore conflict and hope it will go away. But meanwhile, it’s building up and becoming much harder to deal with. So one of the things to recognize in terms of effective conflict management is that we need to tune into conflict. And where appropriate, where possible to nip that in the in the bud before it starts to get worse. At the very least what we need to be careful about is not doing anything that could make the conflict worse. So it’s important that we’re able to keep calm and stay in control in conflict situations. And this is what will be really helpful. It’s the keeping calm and staying in control. That’s what will when you trust that will, that’s what will get you the credibility. Whereas if we look at it, in terms of the opposite of that, if you lose control, if you lose your cool as it were, you get agitated in a complex situation, then people are less likely to trust you and feel comfortable with you, they’re less likely to be open to positive influence from you, if they perceive you as somebody who doesn’t handle conflicts very well. So the more you can do to stay calm stay in control a, the more effective you will be in managing that particular conflict and B, the more credibility you will get for doing so. Now, these issues are doubly important because it will not only make it less likely that the conflict will get worse or escalate to use a technical term. If you remain calm and in control. It also means you get respected for being someone who can be relied upon to handle conflict well. So just let me emphasize that because this is really important. Stay calm, stay in control, don’t allow the tension involved in a conflict situation, to up the ante as it were to up the stakes. The more you can stay calm and in control, the less likely the conflict is to escalate, and the more benefit you’ll get from having managed it well. So that’s what effective conflict management is all about a very important part of the influencing skills, very important part of making a positive difference, because I said right at the beginning of this lesson, and conflict is inevitable. The idea that we can go through life without conflict is of course naive assumption, it will be a case of when conflict arises rather than if conflict arises. Now what we’re going to do then is move on to the, our the final section of the closer framework. And that’s reliability and consistency, saying one thing and doing another will not earn you any credibility. So reliability is an important thing when it comes to making a difference. Letting people down by being unreliable can create annoyance and Ill feeling, it can also be interpreted as being disrespectful. For example, if your punctuality is poor, it gives a message that says My time is important, but yours isn’t. So it’s very important that in terms of punctuality, and related matters, that we are reliable that we do what we say we will do, of course, there will always be situations where things are beyond our control, and we can’t do everything we said we would do in that case, and that takes us back to our communication skills. And we have to explain that we have to make that clear. But leaving somebody in a position where they are expecting you to do something that you’ve said you will do, and you don’t do it reflects very badly on you. And it puts you in a very weak position in terms of influencing skills or making a positive difference. Think about it from your own point of view, compare how you’re likely to feel towards someone who is reliable, as again, someone who lets you down, especially if they let you down on a regular basis. Now, clearly, it’s it’s going to be the case that you will feel more comfortable with somebody who’s reliable, and you’ll feel more uncomfortable with somebody who is not reliable. So, part of this is consistency, consistency between what we say we will do and what we will do that we have that reliability. Now, we are not unpredictable. We are not likely to let people down unless we absolutely have to. So there we have it. That brings us to the end of lesson four and more or less to the end of the course is just a short concluding video for you to watch and then that that’s it. So thank you for your efforts. Hope it’s been useful. Cheers.