Developing empathy can be a struggle to work with initially, you may be nervous about committing yourself emotionally or feel unable to do so. But this doesn’t mean to say that you’re not able to do it at all. To use empathy effectively, you need to put aside your own viewpoints and to see things from another person’s perspective. It’s keeping an open mind and asking the right type of questions. This will help you to recognize the behavior that appears at first sight to be over emotional, stubborn, or unrealistic, or unreasonable as simply a reaction based on a person’s prior knowledge and experiences. Here are some techniques that you can follow so that you can start to work with empathy and so that it can become second nature to you. Give your full attention to another person. Listen carefully to what someone is trying to tell you. Use your ears, eyes and instincts to understand the entire message that they’re communicating. Not necessarily the words that they’re using, but the meaning of the words and the meaning behind the words. Start with listening out for key words and phrases that they use, particularly if they’re using them repeatedly. Think about how as well as what they’re saying. What’s the tone? What’s their body language telling you? Are they angry, ashamed? Scared, feeling guilty? What is it that they’re feeling I take this a stage further by listening empathetically, avoid asking direct questions, discussing and debating what’s being said or disputing facts at this stage. Be flexible and prepare for the conversation to change direction as the other person’s thoughts and feelings also change. Consider other people’s perspectives. This is walking in another person’s shoes, it’s seeing things from a completely different perspective. It’s seeing things from their perspective or from their viewpoints. In order to do this, it’s important to examine your own attitude and keep an open mind. Placing too much emphasis on your own assumptions and beliefs doesn’t leave much space for empathy. Once you see why others believe what they believe you can understand it better, doesn’t mean say that you have to agree with it. This is not the time to change their mind and to have a discussion. Instead, be sure to show respect and keep listening. When in doubt, invite the person to describe their viewpoint in more detail, and ask how they think they might resolve the issue. asking the right questions is probably the simplest and most direct way to understand the other person and take action. There’s no right way to demonstrate compassionate empathy. It will depend upon the situation, the individual and the emotion that’s prevailing at the time. Remember, empathy is not about what you want, but it’s what the other person wants and needs. So any action you take or any action that you suggest, must be a benefit to them. For example, someone may be unable to focus on their work because of a problem at home. It may seem the kind of thing to do to tell them that they can work from home until the situation is resolved. But work may in fact, give them a welcome or a spite from thinking about something that’s going on in the home environment. So also which approach they would prefer. Empathy is not just for crises, seeing the world from a variety of perspectives is a great talent, and it’s one that you can use all the time. in any situation. random acts of kindness brighten everyone’s day. smiling and taking the trouble to remember people’s names is empathy and action. Giving people your full attention in meetings, being curious about their lives and interests. And offering constructive feedback are also empathetic behaviors as well. practice these skills often. When you take an interest in what others think, feel and experience. you’ll develop a reputation for being caring, trustworthy, and approachable. And these are all fundamental components of being emotionally intelligent.