Focusing on What Can Be Controlled

Oh, hello there. I didn’t see that. So before maybe in the last lesson, the lesson before I mentioned about getting to a place where we just allow things to come and go as they please. Now, how do we make how do we help that willingness arise? Well, well, we can help how we can help it arises by recognizing that that’s how things are anyway. So things things come and go as they please anyway, don’t they? We don’t have control over what we experience. We do have control over how we experience those things. So being willing to experience things that come and go as they please. And learning from that experience and just being with it, that we do have control over but we don’t have control over what we experience. And you can investigate this for yourself. You can see it you can close your eyes. Try to control your experience, try to control it. See how that goes for you learn for yourself, I recommend just if you’d like to just try it out, investigate for yourself and learn these things for yourself through your own experience. We can’t control how sorry what we experienced, but we can control how we experience things. So this what we’re doing here is actually putting our attention on what we can control and withdrawing our attention from needless suffering, of trying to control things that we can’t, we can’t control what we experience again. So like the stresses or discomforts, whatever, we can control how we experience them, so we can be willing to experience them, and in doing so, actually disappear it. So it’s the willingness to experience something that doesn’t appears it not our resistance to it, our resistance to experiencing something, or only brings us more suffering, or only brings us small pain. willingness is the thing that disappears it. However, the thing is that we caught, it doesn’t quite work if we’re, if we’re willing to be with things with the agenda of disappearing them. So we actually have to be willing to experiencing things because we don’t care. Either way. Like we have to get to that. What what we’re looking for is to get to that point where we don’t mind this experience were being with it as it is. We’re kind of unified with it. We’re treating it as a friend, and this friend does what it wants, it kind of comes and goes please. And if we are nice to this friend, and are willing and happily with this friend and this friend will just come and go, come and go and we don’t To carry the way. So when we get to that point, we actually don’t care if that thing that we’re experiencing is there, or it’s not. So now that stressful experience, it’s no longer a stress. It’s just some maybe at most some sensations that arise, but it’s actually very easy to disappear stress so they probably want to rise anymore. But for example, if it’s like chronic pain, right, we’re willing to be with that pain and in doing so we disappear the pain, we disappear the pain. Now, let me give you a story, my own story to help identify recognize this point I’m talking about So recently, I not too long ago, not recently, but not too long ago, I had a fall. I jumped off a tree brand tried the tree branch was maybe about as high as my roof. So not too high. Usually I’m a tree climber. I’m an avid tree climber. Elephant tree or anything, but this time, I like landed very like this breathing room and like as soon as I landed, I felt like just like a stinging sensation of my spine. And I remember I just fell to the grass in front of me and just lay down and just kind of like, Ah, what am I got myself into? Yeah. Okay. And I could see that it was very, it was very painful. I couldn’t really move at that point. Like I could move but it was really, really painful and I didn’t want to. So, yes, anyway, very cute, bad injury to the spine. Now, I did some techniques that I knew I kind of wasn’t actually letting letting things be as they were. I didn’t do that at this point. Or I did something else. And it got me to a point where I could walking in and I was at home. And then I stood up off the couch. I just stood up so I was sitting down and suddenly I stood up and Just went up the pain was excruciating. And I very carefully moved my way to the truth like a standing bench where I was standing. And I just kind of like okay, yep, this is really painful. I walked into my bed, I just lay in my bed carefully, and I didn’t move off my bed. For the rest of the day, I slept in the same position, I’m pretty sure it was that painful to move. Now, however, the pain didn’t last very long. Like it was really painful. But I’ll tell you what I was for most of it not from all of it. Don’t from all of it, not for all of the painful experience, but for most of it. I was laughing. I was laughing. And I did see it. I saw it as a opportunity. Like naturally I didn’t try to force it or anything. It just, it just kind of it would seem like a funny situation to me. And I did see it as an opportunity to practice some techniques I knew on some techniques and you have and that’s what I did. I practice them and eventually got better very really fast actually got quite a bit on, given that I could like walk. Like it was that painful. I couldn’t walk at one point. But I believe what happened was my attitude through my own observations, I noticed that when I was laughing when I was just willingly with that pain, even though it was painful, that pain didn’t disappear by me trend. What do you think about it? by me willingly being there and laughing with it. The pain went away. It wasn’t as painful anymore. Like that pain was there, but I wasn’t in pain. I wasn’t in pain. I was laughing godsake. I was laughing, all the pain was laughing. So was that pain was there. I was totally fine. Like I was okay with things either way. So I didn’t suffer. I didn’t suffer. Pain was there but I didn’t suffer in this instance. So I want to show you How no matter what you’re experiencing. You can choose how you are with that experience. You can choose how you are with that experience. So even if it is still there, you can decide your attitude. And that’s something that nothing outside of yourself not pain or experience can can influence that. It’s your choice. It’s your choice. That pain didn’t influence my laughter. I still found a funny way. My friends were very sympathetic to me, but I was just laughing. Like, it’s kind of funny, isn’t it? Like, what are you talking about? Dude, you come around a bit. Yeah, exactly. So, it we, we can control our attitudes. And that’s a critical, critical point. When dealing with things that are out of our control. We focus on the things that we can control. We focus on the things that we can control, and we stop feeding. We stop turning that pain into suffering into our suffering, because we don’t have to we have that power. We have that power to earn what we’re experiencing. To stop calling it pain. And now you can practice this technique. So you can practice this technique of allowing it, of willingly being without sensation, which, which I wish I would have used that experience as an opportunity for that. But I did I did something else, which also worked, which is awesome. So maybe I don’t wish that anyway, so we can be without experience. However it is. So so we have all these tools. Now we have all these tools and we know that we can, we know we can know now, through faith through trust all by verifying it through your own experience that if you’re willing to be with things as they are, then they will be disappeared. And it’s only resisting them that causes suffering, the cause of suffering, and you have the power to decide your attitude, and nothing can influence that. That is your choice. That is totally your choice. Okay, we’ll go to the next lesson.