Criticism in Detail

Hi and welcome to my another most important chapter on criticism. Let me just start with the definition of criticism. Criticism is the expression of disapproval of someone or something on the basis of perceived recourse or mistake. Now, for the second kind of category, what are the types of criticism? criticism can be positive or negative. These are the two main types of criticism and some criticisms need not be always positive or negative. Some statements which had been received from a person can be just a feedback that is received. But our assumptions at many cases can be exaggerated and can be inconsistent based upon our water or our Indian or medical condition. And we just give you an example here. Imagine a child with parents who constantly find out called and no sense of appreciation at being given to the state. If this child had turned into an adult, even slight feedback may turn into deep criticism and help him or her activate the fear mechanism. Proper introspection are these kind of conditions is really required at this point. Not all statements may be directed criticism at you. Another most important thing to remember is everyone may not be trying to really bring you down. we as human beings need to analyze certain statements with real clarity of mind. And after criticism, I just want to ask you a few questions which would clearly narrow down what kind of criticism that you’re receiving. I want you to just pick up a pen and a paper that after after your criticisms that you feel very laid out And you’re depressed, I want you to just start answering this question. Why are you afraid of being judged? Why do you think someone is condemning you? These are one of the deepest questions that need to be asked, then you are really raising the fear of criticism or after this criticism, what is the impact that you are going to face? in one week time? What is going to happen to you due to this criticism? Where do you stand in one year after this criticism has passed? If it is your boss that criticizes you, there’s a change in work will impact you or not. These are some of the questions and let me just go into the deepest level of criticisms that I want to ask you. The fundamental question that you need to ask when you are handling criticism is, is that person that important to you in life, if the person is not that important, or your relationship stops That eight hours above, then why are you still carrying him with you? This is one of the most important question that you need to ask when you are dealing with work. Now, if you are being criticized in your home, can you really change it? For example, if your father is constantly criticizing you for every mistake that you post? What is it really? Is this it your mistake? Or is this mistake to keep on continuously criticizing you? At this kind of instances? Do you really need to take action on it? Or do you really need to try to understand that some things at any cost cannot be changed. No matter what initiative we take in solving it is the fear of failure that makes us frustrated and Randers the fear of being criticized again and again. The most important thing, when you are dealing with critics is what I’m going to speak about right now. We need to accept some things or some people cannot be changed, they will always be like that. It is a complete acceptance that we required. A real change in our perspective is the most important thing that needs action from us, rather than always being in the sphere. This kind of fear when it happens, everybody will form a deep depression and anxiety. This is one of the fundamental causes of this deep depression and anxiety that many people are facing in their life. Now, you will be asking me, how can I just phases and what are the steps that you can take immediately to ward off this kind of criticism? If you practice not responding immediately to your critics or stop defending immediately, you are starting to win the game. Many people generally want to help rather than to condemn. So stop acting in a defensive mode and switch over to Listening more than you are bound with criticism. Next, are you frequently being criticized? Are you not very well versed in any particular skill? If not, try to learn this or if you have no interest in learning this skill, it is better that you move away from it and it is wise enough to do so. Try not to think of your criticism after the criticism as fast after too much thinking over this criticism again and again in reality and take a bad turn about your health as well. Why do you allow someone to harm you, then you have the power to overcome and this is the most important question that you need to be asking when you are in deep criticism or when you have afraid of critics. Expecting perfection is a complete misnomer. If your critic tells you that he is a perfect person, he could be a complete lie. We generally know that everyone is imperfect in many areas. You definitely need to understand this and write this down on your mind. Then let me come to kritis critics. Let your critics write their own book about you. But you should never write the preface of the book. Understand that it is your life and you must be the author of every chapter of your book called life. Other people are just fictional characters in your book. Don’t let them determine your story. It is your book, make it bold and beautiful. It is also said that nobody keeps statues for the critics. Most of the anxieties in life is determined by how you manage your critics who are outside and who is inside you. Now coming to the steps that you really need to take you prepare a sheet of List of criticism that you have received, and I want you to review those criticism again, during this time, try to understand are those really true If it is true, how is it going to determine your life? And should you really act on them or not? Should you act on them or not is one of the most important things you have to decide. Let me just give you a simple example. I am a person who’s 35 years old, and I still do not know how to drive a car. And this can be one of the major criticism that if somebody asked me, don’t you know how to drive a car? Now, let me go for the reasons here. I never really didn’t have to drive a car or many taxi services are available everywhere near my place. And also, I am using public transportations and I am not contributing to this environmental pollution. This can be one of them my advantages that I would have against the criticism that we faced, but this kind of criticism need not be taken personally. What will happen if I don’t learn this by me? Mostly, nothing is going to happen. But is it really worth if they don’t learn? That is the question that I want you to think if I can spend money Are every week to learn something new. This can also be an exercise and slowly can can do something to overcome my fears. Another example this is my very own personal example, I have a person who is very poor and Max, I am always blamed for not being able to calculate max in my head. What can I do for this, I have to accept my fear of Max, I need to be able to learn the art of calculating in my head as it will help me everywhere in my life. So slowly I can start watching videos learned how quick do with Max etc. This is the step that I can help myself to improve rather than always feeling that somebody is going to criticize me for not being good at Mac’s. Another real example. Another example is as illustrated, maybe boss you are always not confident. This criticism can be partially true. When I do not know something I am supposed to remain black and it is my nature to accept that what I don’t know, rather than how can it be Like, I do know something when I really do not know, accepting that a person cannot be confident in all areas of life, understanding that taking criticism personally has its disadvantages. In creating this perspective, my boss, I don’t find many faults with him and sometimes let him criticize. I do not take it personally. If it is, the criticism that I take it personally, I think it is not a fault with my boss. Rather, it is a fault with my problem. Just because someone said that you are not enough may not be always true, it may be their judgment or their perception of you. We know that all humans are not perfect decision maker. The important quote that I want to share at this time was any fool can criticize contempt and complain, but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. And it may come down to the area of acceptance. This is very much required when you have to face the fear of criticism, you have to understand that some individuals are political by nature, and they do not always realize that they are hurting the feelings of another person. If you know a person who is critical of everything, try not to take their comments too seriously, as it is just a part of their character. Like if you do not take negative comments to your heart, it can create resentment, anger, or anything towards the person which could damage the relationship. So never take something personally when you are expecting criticism from that kind of person. So, another important thing I want to tell you, if you feel that you may lose self control or say something potentially damaging, just walk away from the situation when you’re being criticized. It can be if you’re there in a meeting at work, politely excuse yourself and leave the room until you have time to gather yourself even though somebody read negative remarks may hurt. It is more harmful to you to love your criticism to be destructive to your real confidence. This is the video that I can speak about criticism in detail. Understand that criticism need not be taken personally. The more you start understanding your criticism, you can easily overcome your fear of your critics or your criticism, whatever it may be all the best coders, please just post down your reviews or comments after this video that I may understand what sort of criticism that somebody is facing it. If it is possible, I can give you the solution forms. Thank you. I’ll meet you in the next video. Till then, bye